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Noticing that there was little in the way of practical guidance for modern, devout women looking for a spouse, and thinking that her own hard-won experience might help other Catholic women in the same predicament, Bonaccorso turned that knowledge into a book: Amy Bonaccorso: I felt very strongly that a lot of single Catholic women were getting unrealistic advice on dating. John Mc Closkey to pass on the lessons I learned to other women.I wanted to inject some realism into the highly idealized Catholic dating scene to help single women reach their life goals. The books and articles I read in the past on dating were typically by clergy, lifelong singles, or married people of other generations.I am one of the only married women in recent memory to write such a book for modern-day Catholic women.

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I also wanted to help women weed out church jerks (Chapter 9 — “When Holy Rollers Don’t Measure Up”).

Catholic women have their own unique ways of sabotaging themselves as well, so I talk about that in Chapter 12, on the “Secular Sisterhood.” One is being too nun-like and church-mousey, with long skirts every day.

After running the gauntlet of the modern dating scene, she finally found her husband…

but not before having several preconceptions about dating and marriage shattered along the way.

Women can have fun with current fashion trends and cosmetics without being immodest.

I think it’s harder to form genuine, long-lasting relationships now.

Life is more complicated — people don’t have the closely-knit communities so much anymore.

One major motivation was to assure Catholics that the courtship model and vocabulary was not working for most people.

It’s unhelpful to talk the courtship language when most of the public is “dating.” I’ve never met anyone in my age group who made “courtship” work. And “date” is not a bad word; a date might be coffee at Starbucks.


  1. According to the report, 63% of teens say that they use instant messaging and chat apps on a daily basis.

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